I titled this post "Can you just FOCUS?" because I have had so much on my mind here lately. I have been focusing on getting a routine with Aves school schedule, continue breastfeeding/stop breastfeeding, weight loss, body image issues, cooking new meals, settling into our new house, making time for momma, making plans with friends, changing things in the house, working, starting a photography business, and the list could go on. Now you know why this blog is all over the place, but I what not about to blog about each thought.
We have settled into the house quite nicely and are loving our new neighborhood. We have met ten different couples, eight of them with kids, and have really felt like this is where we are suppose to be. You have those moments in life where things just feel right and this feels right. Directly next to us we had new neighbors move from Minnesota and we have just clicked. They have two girls and Avery has loved playing with them! We here that our neighborhood is crazy with kids on Halloween and that everyone decorates for Christmas......this makes me sooooo excited. Since the move we have really enjoyed just being home, cooking, eating at the table as a family, and spending time together. Throughout the whole selling of our house, packing, and moving process I would tell Jason daily how bad I just wanted to sit and rock my babies. Well that is what we have been doing. No more craziness, just quality time with the girls.
The summer also brought fear. Fear of losing my Dad. God wrapped His arms around him and allowed us to enjoy him for a lot longer. After I had Ansley my grandfather had quadruple bypass surgery which made my Dad go to the doctor to see about a few symptoms he had been having. Turns out that he needed a single bypass and a stint. He had the bypass done through his side which was so much better than them having to open his chest, then a stint two weeks later, only to cause two pulmonary embolisms and a blood clot in his leg. It was such an emotional roller coaster and to see my parents go through such pain and to be so scared and not be able to "fix" it was devastating. With all the stress I was under, I pushed the thought of how sick my Dad was to the back of my mind and really never dealt with how bad things could of been. When he went in for the bypass he started having a heart attack. Those words make my sick to my stomach but in all honesty this is the only way to deal. I cannot think about what could have been; I can only thank the good Lord for protecting my Dad.
I am thankful for the health of my girls and I pray daily that God watches over them. We had a scare while in Colorado on vacation and I once again found myself thinking about he what if. Praise the Lord that Avery was alright and her hand has healed beautifully. No corrective surgery will be needed. Avery also loves her new school which makes us so happy. She has really adjusted well with all the "new" she has had; new baby sister, new house, new school, etc. We only saw some acting out towards the end of our move. And it really boiled down to spending quality time focused on her. Once our move was complete and we were somewhat settled, things fell back into place. But we definitely had some rough days. I shed many tears. With Avery, I have to remind myself that she is only three years old. She is so smart, witty, and kind. She has a heart of gold and will do anything for you. She loves her sister, she loves lemonade, she loves all her friends, she knows no stranger, she is loving, she love the Red Raiders, she loves Barbies and Minnie Mouse, she has the best imagination, and well, I love everything about her. The other day she was going potty before bed and could not go. She said, "I think my peepee is sleeping". Hysterical! The first thing she says in the morning is "baby Ansley asleep or awake?" Ansley is fascinated with Avery. She will be crying and Avery will walk over to her and instantly she is quiet. She is polite and minds. She does have a temper, but she comes by it honestly with me. We are both very strong headed and that can lead to some problems at times. That trait will take her far as an adult but right now we are working on the kinks. Most days are good, but others have their hiccups. Days without naps are rough. But at the end of the day, whether it is me or Jason, she smiles and gives us a hug and asks that when we say her prayers that we "pray for everybody". I'm not sure Jason and I can love our two girls anymore. Their our world. I can't wait to see Avery and Ansley in a few years, the best of friends!
I have found a great moms group that I dearly love. Also two of my good friends from college who both have little girls have been meeting with us for a monthly play date. Next month we are headed to the Arboretum, which is one of my favorite places! Lots of pictures to come! I cherish the time I get to see friends and catch up. Grateful that God put such wonderful people in my life throughout the years. Looking forward to a girls weekend in San Antonio with all the Tech Pom girls as well! Good times ahead!
I think parenting is one of the hardest jobs to have; also one of the greatest accomplishments to claim! Between the tears of realizing that your babies are growing up to the times of discipline I always think to myself, "I hope I am doing this right?" I pray that we are teaching the girls the way of the Lord and that we are instilling in them the values that we were both raised on. As a mom though, I think there is more pressure. Or maybe it is pressure I put on myself, which if I had to guess is probably the answer. With both girls I battled with when to stop giving them my milk and in both times I have stressed myself out to the max. Guilt. I am still giving it to Ansley but I wish that I did not consume myself with the "pressures". I know that she will be just fine if she gets formula.....Hello Ashley, Avery got formula because I went back to work. My goal is to get to Christmas and then I will have achieved my goal. Anyway, I know moms out there struggle with the same stuff but I needed to vocalize it. Same "pressures" go along with behavior, intelligence (is my child where they need to be academically), etc. Which leads me to my next random thought.
Facebook. I find myself thinking that everyone lives a perfect life through Facebook, which I know clearly is not the case. I'm not on Twitter, Instagram, or whatever else is out there. It is human nature to want to relate to someone; someone going through what you are going through. Someone to seek advice from. Post the not so good stuff too. No one is perfect. Don't get me wrong. I love Facebook. I love it for the relationships I have been able to keep with friends near and far and share the love I have for my family, seek prayer when in need of pray warriors, and to stay connected. It would be nice, though, for it to depict a more accurate account of what "really" happens rather than what we think people want to see and hear.
The last bit of this post, which I know has been all over the place, is with me. I am struggling with losing the baby weight and dealing with all kinds of self image and body issues. My poor hubby hears about it everyday so I am getting it out and can hopefully move on. I look in my closet and see tons of clothes, but I have nothing to wear. Nothing to wear because it is too small. I have been working out again and it will take some time but this is new for me. After Avery the weight came off quick and this time it has been different. The struggle is something I do not like and feeling the way I do is for the birds. I think as a stay at home mom you find yourself consumed in laundry, dishes, cleaning, and taking care of whatever, that you kind of lose yourself in a sense. Yet another struggle of mine. I will say that I would not have it any other way and I absolutely love the time I am getting to be home with the girls. I work part-time from home which is great but I need to do something that I love is for me. Which made me make the decision to pursue photography. I love my pictures, and I know that if you follow my blog, I take a ton. I once had someone say that having pictures forces you to live in the past. I completely disagree. A photo can stir up any emotion and I want to be able to capture that for someone else. I can't wait to get started after the first of the year!
I know I threw about fifty things out there in this post. Sometimes my blog becomes my way of dealing with things. Happy, sad, good or bad it is kind of like a picture. I can look back and reflect on this time in my life and move on from whatever it is that is going on. Or maybe I can be that person someone else is looking to relate to. Either way thanks for visiting!
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| The good life! |
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| My babies! |
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| She is always smiling and then I press the button and I get the dazed and confused look! Sweet girl! |
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| Avery and my new "picture spot" in the house! I love her personality and independence! She is pure joy! |
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| Me and my girls! Love them so so so much! |
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| Thank you Papa and Nana for the Minnie light for the backyard! |
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| Wuwu and the girls! |
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| Tearing it up at Club Lake for the annual BBQ cookout! |
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| LOVE this man to pieces! I love his love for his girls and his family and what he does for us. A true provider. He was made to be a Daddy and husband. Thank you God for putting him in my life. |
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| Love our new neighbors!!!!! We had the pleasure of having Cinderella (aka Grace) and Snow White (aka Avery) eat dinner with us! Love seeing Avery so happy! |
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| Watching Momma cook!!!! In the highchair! Had to put the Bumbo up because she is so strong she almost flipped out of it. |
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| Speaking of how quick Ave is growing up......we saw this car the other day and she said she loved the PINK and wants a car like that. What? Who let's their child destroy an Audi like this.......Avery will be driving a tank wearing bubble wrap. This momma is NOT ready to even think about her behind the wheel. |
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| Getting our teeth sparkly white! She did not like the polishing this time. |
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| Coming home from the Pumpkin Patch at the church by our house. First time Ans rode in the stroller like this! And she loved it! |
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| A visual reminder of how great our God is! |
